Rewind with me to a few weeks ago. It was our first snow day and all of the kids had colds. Our youngest had been napping for only a short time when she walked out of her room with those sleepy rosy cheeks I can’t get enough of. Scooping her up, I wrapped a blanket around her and settled into the couch. The tree was on, the snow was falling and she drifted back to sleep, laying her head on my chest. I wished I had my phone. I contemplated how I could get up and grab it to capture this moment, but I knew it’d wake her so I stayed still. Before long, I was asleep, too.
Fast forward a few weeks to the highschool band concert. It was bedtime but we were there because our oldest is obsessed with all things “band”. So we sat there, my husband and I exchanging looks, while our youngest wiggled, talked and stared at the people behind us. She was like a ticking bomb in an auditorium filled with people who were silently enjoying the music. I’d whisper for her to be quiet and she’d whisper back, in a voice that’s louder than a regular talking voice that “she needs to go poop” and every 30 seconds, I thought about leaving. About 1/2 way through the concert, she finally settled into my lap and as the band played, she fell asleep. Again, no camera to capture one of my favorite moments from this season.
These little moments have been starting to fill a gap I didn’t know I had. It’s a void that needs to be filled with memories that are just for us. All of the rushing and busyness of life has left me drained. I’ve craved the most real things- like time on the couch with my kids or the satisfaction of sticking out a highschool band concert, simply because our 2nd grader loves it.
I’ve been reading “Breathing Room”, a book by Leeana Tankersley and this paragraph is so good I have to share:
“I am both exceptional and unexceptional, common and uncommon, remarkable and unremarkable. And the great thing is, it’s OK. Why do we assume that our power lies only in the version of ourselves we deem most perfect? I will disappoint people and I will inspire people. So will you. We don’t have to run from our magic or our mundaneness. We turn toward it all, the beautiful mess and we say “Yes, I am all of that” and “I see you. I hear you. I love you.” This is one of life’s greatest gifts.”
After reading those words, I sat still in my living room and looked all around. In my head, nothing is ever enough. Never clean enough. Never organized enough. Never pretty enough. But I breathed in and realized….it’s all enough and it’s actually pretty great. This season, these crazy kids. My desire to slow down and soak it all in. It’s enough! I am enough!
So friends- I hope that as Christmas approaches, you too can accept all that you are. Your complexity- the good stuff and the bad and I hope you know how completely wonderful you are. Slow down and make some memories just for you.
This is most likely my last blog post before Christmas because my kids are on break and I’m craving time with them, doing whatever the heck we want. Be sure to follow us on Instagram though–I’m a little stories obsessed so I’m always posting videos.